Depression writing style

There was a time when I read and wrote voraciously. There was a time when I had dreams about getting my books published. There was a time… I started out on this writing journey more than ten years ago: young, hopeful, enthusiastic and determined. But mostly stupidly naïve, believing that anyone would be interested in anything I have to say. Nowadays my writing is like a series of tides that ebb away as quickly as they come. I don’t have a plan anymore. I don’t believe that my dream of having a writing career will ever come true. I have no faith in my own books or abilities. Don’t get me wrong: I love my stories and my characters and my worlds but hardly anyone else does and at some point another rejection becomes one too many to handle. I haven’t written anything new in almost two years and my editing process usually takes so long I eventually lose any determination or desire to publish the book I’m working on. My latest attempt was a complete fiasco. It was quite unfortunate that after several years of editing the first Regency-set novel I’ve ever written in order to re-publish it, it was bought and reviewed by someone who must have expected a Julia Quinn kind of romp and, having found it to be a very different kind of novel, gave it a one-star rating along with a review that pretty much destroyed its chances. No one bought another copy ever since. Unsurprisingly enough. For me it was like that final nail in the coffin that put me off writing just as I was gearing myself up for what I knew would be a challenging writing journey to begin with. So here I am drowning my writing-related depression by obsessively watching the same shows and movies over and over again, reading fanfics and drifting further and further away from my own characters and stories and not really caring anymore. Maybe I’ll get back on that writing horse again. Maybe not. I’ve had long writing slumps and many setbacks before and I always found my way back. But at this point in time I just don’t feel like it and that’s that.

MARGARET'S REMATCH: a look behind the scenes

MARGARET'S REMATCH - my Regency Romance - is going to be published this week and here is a behind-the-scene interview about the book and my writing process that I did some months ago at Historical Reader Fiction blog, which I'm reposting here.

Welcome to Historical Fiction Reader Farida. It’s a pleasure to have you with us. To start things off, please tell us a bit about Margaret's Rematch.

Thank you very much! It’s a real pleasure to be here! Margaret’s Rematch is a slow-paced novel set against the backdrop of Regency England. Here is what it is about: After the loss of her sister, Margaret Fairfax leaves London and settles at Northbrook Hall - the country estate of her brother-in-law, Mr Westfield, whose dislike of her is legendary. There she faces a major challenge of reconciling their many differences and proving to him that despite the rumours of schemes and scandals that followed her all the way from London, she is worthy of his regard. With time and many an exertion, Margaret succeeds in gaining his approbation and affection. In fact, she is on the verge of triumph when her deceitful friend arrives determined to ruin it all. 

Where did the idea for this story originate?

The thing about story ideas is that with the passage of time I never quite know or never actually remember where they came from or how they originated. They usually ambush me and demand to be written down and haunt me until I give in. On the other hand, the idea to write what is generally known as “regency romance” was influenced by my passion for Jane Austen’s books. I thought of it as my homage to her and initially wanted to call my novel “Imitation”. I was actually quite scared to write something like that. It was more than twelve years ago and I didn’t feel myself equal to it. However, on a lark I showed a piece of what I’d already written to a friend – another Jane Austen fan – and she loved it so much that she encouraged me to proceed.

What historical resources helped you bring Margaret’s world to life on the page?

I meticulously studied Jane Austen’s books and spent a lot of time researching everything I could online, collecting tons of material along the way. Google Books proved to be an invaluable source of material about that period of time. I read diaries, letters, memoirs, advice columns written by people of that time, as well as different manuals on all possible subjects I could possibly need; newspapers, magazines, novels. Basically anything I could get my hands on! Nowadays I always keep a volume of Belle Assemblée and The Gentleman’s Magazine on hand. It really helps me to get into the heads of people of that time, understand their mindset and nurture and attune my language in order to make it sound more authentic.

Which character in Margaret's Rematch do you feel you have the most in common with?

Funny you should ask that! Just the other day one of my students, who read the book, looked at me apologetically and confessed that she preferred Anne Westfield (the sister of the main character) to Margaret Fairfax. She was afraid that I would be upset, but I just laughed and told her that I knew exactly what she meant and that I felt exactly the same. I’m afraid I did it on purpose. Anne is a lot more relatable than Margaret in many ways, but, mainly, I think it is because she isn’t quite as perfect as the latter. Additionally, I made her an excellent artist, which has always been a dream of mine and I thought that she might as well make it come true. Just now I’ve been editing a piece where Anne is talking and talking and talking about her love for cakes, reminding me all over again why she is so relatable and why I like her so much!

Which character do you feel you have the least in common with?

Margaret Fairfax is definitely very different from me. I don’t think that we have anything in common at all. She is young, beautiful, rich, very popular with the opposite sex, and is quite opposed to reading. We have literally nothing in common! So I had lots of fun telling her story. I don’t want to give you the wrong impression about Margaret, though! While she is very beautiful and is well aware of it, she is not at all arrogant or conceited. In fact, she is very kind and sweet, but she does have a bit of a temper and her brother-in-law knows that better than anyone else! Her temper was actually the reason why they became bitter enemies in the first place and then continued to nurture their animosity towards each other for years.

Did any scene in Margaret's Rematch challenge you as a writer?

Oh, pretty much everything challenged me as a writer when working on this novel! I was basically just starting out and I was still learning and sometimes it was really hard to put into words what I wanted to say. I remember that it took me roughly a month to write each chapter and for some unfathomable reason I favoured really long chapters back then!

Authors are often forced to make sacrifices when composing their stories and I always wonder what ended up on the cutting room floor. Is there a character, scene, or concept you wish you could have spent more time on while writing Margaret's Rematch?

I hate doing that and it usually takes me a long while to come to terms with the necessity of cutting out anything, even when I know perfectly well that it has got to go. The only thing that helps in my case is the passage of time. For example, having returned to Margaret’s Rematch many years later, I had a lot less qualms about cutting out whole passages. I became quite ruthless about it. Though, I must say that I replaced them with new pieces right away! In fact, ever since I started editing the manuscript, my word count increased by 10K. In my defence, I believe I cut out irrelevant pieces and substituted them with important ones. Speaking about a specific scene… I wrote a cute little scene where Margaret was telling her nephew about how his mother and father met at a ball. I liked it very much but there was no place to fit it in and so it never ended up in a book.

If you could pick a fantasy cast - anyone at all, living or dead, at any point in their careers - to play your characters in a big-screen adaptation of Margaret's Rematch, who would you cast?

I feel kind of silly mentioning it, but when I was writing it twelve years ago (or was it more?), I was a big fan of Smallville and my dream cast was the cast of Smallville at the time. I even saved their photos on my old computer and called them with the names of my characters. Nowadays, I’m a fan of Supernatural and at least as far as Mr James Westfield (the main hero) and Mr Clifford Stockley (Margaret’s close friend and the brother of the main villainess) are concerned, I have no trouble imagining them being played by Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles respectively. I’d love to see them in period drama costumes, talking with a British accent!

What do you hope readers take from their experience of Margaret's Rematch?

I just want them to enjoy it and to spend a lovely time on its pages, away from the troubles and problems of the world we live in.

What’s next for you? Any new writing projects in the wings?

Quite so many! I have two more Regencies lined up to be published as soon as I’m done editing them and then there’s a fantasy novel set in Regency England that I’m planning on self-publishing after that (unless my dream comes true and I find a literary agent before that), and then there’s the continuation of my YA fantasy novel that I’ve recently self-published and, hopefully, many more projects!

7th and 8th REVIEW for ALMENDRA'S QUEST

Nicole Sperber rated it it was amazing

Highly imaginative; charming and energetic narrative voice; all-female cast with a believably flawed lead. Inverse damsel-in-distress in which the prince needs to be rescued. Has a slow start, but an engrossing mid-section. A perfect read for anyone who enjoys fanciful, magical escapism with a very, very tidy and optimistic ending.

Judy Ferrell rated it it was amazing

Magic returns!

Almendra sets out to save a prince. in this highly enjoyable book by Farida Mestek we get to see a princess save the prince for a change. I found this to be such a fun book. I would highly recommend it!!

MARGARET'S REMATCH - Regency Romance - EXCERPT

Mr James Westfield was not an idle man and was never known to neglect his duty, unless, of course, it concerned his sister-in-law, in which case, like any man facing an unpleasant task at hand, he was in no hurry to fulfill it.

    It was no secret within their small family circle that James Westfield disliked Margaret Fairfax with a passion that completely defied his common sense; and the fact that he allowed his emotions to affect him to such a degree so as to render his actions non-existent was rather shocking for a man who always prided himself on doing his duty and who had never been known to avoid responsibility before.

    No one, who had any notion of his steady character and exemplary conduct, would ever believe upon hearing that it had taken James Westfield almost four years to act upon a solemn promise, concerning his sister-in-law, given to his late wife under the most grievous of circumstances.

    On this particular afternoon, Mr Westfield was seated within the solitary comfort of his study with a cup of tea, a frown rapidly taking hold of his face, and a newspaper reluctantly put aside for later perusal, as he was once again pondering the unfortunate matter of his sister-in-law and her impending return to Northbrook Hall.

    He had been prompted into this unpleasant contemplation by a report of the most alarming nature that he had received early in the morning: it concerned her latest display of shocking indiscretion and impropriety, made his tea taste bitter, the aforementioned lady’s arrival as unwelcome as ever, and the longing to read the newspaper greater still.

    It so happened that while Margaret’s elder sister, Isabella, held such a special place in his heart, she herself occupied a singularly inferior position in his esteem; and as far as his heart was concerned, it had been quite hardened against her. It appeared that he had made up his mind to dislike her and nothing short of a miracle would ever change that.

    The roots of his dislike went back to their very first meeting during which Miss Margaret – no more than ten years of age at the time – spoke with great outrage on the subject of Mr Westfield’s intentions of marrying her sister; she had been quite against the whole thing and told him as much without a hint of compunction then or thereafter.

    Mr Westfield had been shocked and offended by her impertinent address, not having been accustomed to such preposterous and unjustified (in his opinion) displays of sisterly affection. The scene had created an inevitable rupture between the young lady and her prospective brother-in-law, which both parties eagerly maintained to this day.

    However, looking back at the letter, which contained the unfortunate report, Mr Westfield knew that, unless he wished to see Miss Margaret’s reputation and name ruined forever, he had to put his personal sentiments aside and fulfill the task entrusted to him by his dearest Isabella without any further delay.

COMING SOON!

MARGARET'S REMATCH - COMING SOON!

After the loss of her sister, Margaret Fairfax settles at Northbrook Hall – the country estate of her brother-in-law, Mr Westfield, whose dislike of her is legendary. There she faces a major challenge of reconciling their many differences and proving to him that despite the rumours of schemes and scandals that followed her from London, she is worthy of his regard and affection. With time and many an exertion on her part and that of the other members of Mr Westfield's family, Margaret succeeds not only in altering his opinion of her but even in attaching his heart. In fact, she is on the verge of triumph when her deceitful friend arrives determined to ruin it all.

COMING SOON!

SIXTH REVIEW for ALMENDRA'S QUEST

A great and very detailed review from Emmy Foster on Goodreads:

3,5 stars from me, and a big thank you to the author, because I enjoyed this read. 

Almendra's Quest was my first introduction into Farida Mestek's Highland Court Chronicles fantastical world, and what a good one! I must admit this story surprised me in probably every way possible. Highland Court Chronicles is a true YA fantasy book. Most of the story unfolds during a journey from one fantastical place to another where MC Almendra comes face to face with mysteries, violent enemies, magical wonder and surprising friends.

When I started the story, for the first few pages I wasn't quite sure if it was labelled properly as YA and I wondered if it would have been better off as a late middle grade.....I was wrong. Not only is the MC in her late teens, and goes on a journey that a middle grade student should never realistically take on by themselves, but the story also contains a few villainous situations that might be just a bit outside of the middle grade comfort zone (this is not to say that the story is very gory, but there are one or two moments in the story where the details might be a bit too much for a young student under 10 yrs).

The reason I originally wondered about the category is because Almendra has a very playful, young and slightly naive personality which comes especially to the foreground at the beginning chapters. Throughout the book we see how come she's developed this way though, and that the themes of the story are a bit more mature. So that was surprise one for me.

Surprise two was Mestek's humorous tone, which I absolutely loved. I would probably pitch Almedra's Quest as: Harry Potter & Terry Pratchett's stories had a high fantasy hero's journey baby. I LOVED the interactions between Almedra and her animal companion Woo the wolf. I really enjoyed her excited, but cheeky nature and her passion and it was so easy to root for her from the beginning of the story till the end.

The rest of the surprises I think I'll have to leave unsaid as they have to do with the plot twists and the ending. However, I will say that throughout the first 1/3 of the book I thought I had the story quite well figured out and that knew roughly how it would end. ......I was wrong. Highland Court Chronicles had some very surprising plot twists, and I quite enjoyed the ending. I'll be looking forward to book 2 in the series.

So if I loved it, then why not 4 stars? I really missed more frequent chapter headings. The book consists of a few big parts, and I like to finish a reading session with the ending of a chapter. Because there weren't many clear chapters, I ended up either reading really big chunks in one go, or having to finish in, what felt like, the middle of a story. So that's something I would have preferred.

Another thing is that I sometimes felt like the big important moments in the story felt just a little anti-climactic. Not all of them, and the story definitely gave me 'the feels' in a good way and was immersive, but I felt like sometimes it could have done with a little longer lingering on certain moments, if that makes sense.

Sexual content: none

Coarse language: none

Violence and gore: moderate

In conclusion

My three favorite aspects of this story were:

1. The super creative, non-cliché, worldbuilding that was just done SO well, and was such a breath of fresh air;

2. The surprise plot twists in the second and third parts of the book;

3. Farida Mestek's humour that just made the tone for this story so very enjoyable.

So if you like a classic fantasy story, and the above three things sound like fun to you, then I would definitely say Highland Court Chronicles may very well be your thing!

Henry Chadderton through other people's eyes

Lady Sophia –

There is not a single woman, young and unattached, recently engaged or happily married these ten years, whose head has not been turned by the man. I declare his appearance always causes a stir in my drawing-room and all the young ladies inevitably flock towards the entrance in order to be the first to get a glimpse of his dashing person, while all the young men take a note of his carriage, his hairstyle and his attire so as to adopt them the next day. Well, I can hardly blame them. Henry Chadderton is vastly handsome, charming and witty, and his manners are excellent. He always smiles, pays compliments, tells anecdotes and dances every dance with a new partner. In fact, one hardly remembers that his father is a tradesman, for in all respects, but that of his birth, Henry Chadderton is a perfect gentleman. His fortune is large; he has several estates and the finest cottage that he inherited from his grandparents. I wish he would take one of my nieces off my hands for I have ever so many. It is a pity, though, that he prefers to spend so much time in the company of his gentlemen friends and, from what I gather, has no intention of taking a wife.

Eliza Grant – 

We grew up together, Henry and I. Henry's father has been my guardian since I turned five and I love Henry as a brother. He is the most caring, funniest and absurd person that I know. Mr. Chadderton says that he is obstinate and headstrong and only ever does what he pleases and that it was a mistake to give him so much freedom as a youth and indulge his every whim for now he is quite ungoverned. But I think that Henry is a sensible man and as such one can rely on him and trust his judgment. I always do. When I was a child he gave me riding lessons and, when his father was away, taught me how to fish and shoot, for, I dare say, my accomplishments in the latter he would disapprove of. It is a pity that once I left school I was not allowed to stay at Spencer Lodge anymore, even though Henry said that I was the only woman who would ever set foot inside the house. But Mr. Chadderton believes that now when I am out it will be highly improper if we were to live under the same roof as we are not blood relations. I do not agree, but I cannot act against my dearest guardian's wishes. He has been as much a father to me as Henry a brother and I am determined to act in such a way as would leave him in no doubt of my deepest affection, gratitude and deference. 

Emma Montford – 

Well, you shall certainly hear no encomiums from me on the subject of the illustrious Mr. Henry Chadderton. He is a commoner and a scoundrel and neither his money nor his fancy dress will change that. I was once duped by him like the rest of the world and I paid a high price of a broken heart and tears that would not dry. But I have long since availed myself of the knowledge of his true person and am thus at liberty to warn others against him, for I speak from experience rather than appearances. They say that he is a devil at cards and that he has no conscience. But his dueling skills, I've heard, are lacking and nowadays he has a weakness in the person of my brother Edward. It is beyond my comprehension in what manner he became the man's dearest friend, but I am certain that the only reason why Edward has become his friend at all was to aggravate me. He has always suffered from neglect and was always overlooked by all our friends and he must have envied my place in the family. Naturally, when Mr. Chadderton offered him his friendship, instead of refusing, he chose to accept it, knowing perfectly well how much his association with the only person who had ever snubbed me, would injure me. 

Mr. Hartley – 

I'm afraid I have made quite an exhibition of myself the other day, frothing at the mouth with pique and calling for retribution. I was not myself, having consumed a large quantity of port that was made by the Devil himself. I was all aflame with passion and could not control the imaginings of my agitated mind. Therefore, I beg you to forgive me for such an unbecoming display and forget whatever I might have said in the feverish agony that consumed me. You must not think that I am plotting against Henry and his plaything. I confess I despise Montford with all my soul and I wish him nothing but ill. However, whatever ill might befall him, it shall not come from me. You must believe me when I tell you that I am not the villain of this story. For it was not I who betrayed the most devoted and lasting of friendships. But how can I speak ill of my dear friend? How can I scheme and act against someone I consider a brother? I shall not be responsible for any blemishes that may ever darken Henry's good name! I shall not bear the blame for such treachery! I shall never turn my back on him and he will always be welcome in my home that I now share with my darling wife!

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Edward Montford through other people's eyes

Sir Charles Montford – 

It is not easy in my advanced age to reconsider my opinion, least of all learn that I have erred terribly throughout my entire life. But the last few months proved that I knew none of my children as well as I thought I did. Presently I am questioning myself whether I have been a good parent and a just father to them. Emma will have something to say on this head, I am sure, but after that infamous trick of hers I do not know what else she expected me to do. In any case, it is Edward and not she who has every reason to complain of the past abuse. And yet he never does. No, he continues a grateful, humble and loving son that I always had and never cared for. I have been most unfair towards him and always treated him with disdain and neglect. Charles, my eldest, was always a favourite with me and Edward, well, I do not think that I ever paid him any attention. But he is a good boy. A fine person. Of sound reason and affectionate heart. It was Edward's timely counsel and unfailing support that made it possible for me to endure Emma's betrayal and stop me from committing a grievous mistake.

Charles Montford – 

I must admit that I was wrong about Edward. Though, of course, not on all accounts. After all, just because he has recently assisted me with a delicate matter does not change the fact that he is no match for me. He is not a horseman or a gambler, he doesn't care for shooting, never tried boxing and I do not know but that he wants to remain a bachelor. He certainly has shown no interest in any young lady as of yet, even though I know for a fact that Lady Sophia was rather keen on the idea of a match between him and one of her nieces. But, perhaps, this is for the best as Edward is not of a sociable turn and would only embarrass his wife in society. He always preferred books and isolation and I think father encouraged him to exercise his fondness for both as it saved him from the necessity of spending our family’s considerably dried up funds on his formal education and worldly pleasures. But, I dare say, Edward has always been happy with his lot. At any rate, he has never complained. Not even when I chased him about the estate with my whip. Such fun I used to have. Well, he certainly hasn’t forgotten the taste of it. And if he ever gets any dangerous ideas, I will be there to beat them out of him. 

Emma Montford – 

You might as well be scandalized by my report – all my friends are – but Edward is the worst brother on Earth. He cares nothing for me. Nothing. He is disobliging and disagreeable in the extreme and he is friends with the very person who treated me in the most injurious, disgraceful and disrespectful fashion. Which goes to show that Edward cares neither for his sister nor her honour. I wager you have never thought that shy, mild-tempered, harmless Edward should one day betray his own kin. Well, to find that he should continue to associate with Mr. Henry Chadderton at all was a shock. But to find that he should keep the man's company after the warning I had given him is beyond provoking. I simply cannot comprehend why he didn’t cut his acquaintance when it was no longer necessary to maintain it. But after everything that has passed between Chadderton and our family I cannot forgive Edward for associating with him of his own free will. How can one trust such a brother? How can one rely on him? Father should never have sent me with Edward to London for he didn’t have my interests at heart at all. And now I have every reason to believe that he set my father against my husband in the most infamous manner. Well, on his own head be it. I am certainly not going to put in a good word for him with papa or reconcile him with Charles when he decides to come back to his senses and his family.

Mr. Jude Hartley – 

I'd rather cut my right hand off than speak of Montford. I loathe that son of a devil and I do not wish to hear his name or see his face as long as I live. I fear it is inevitable, considering our present circumstances, but if he is not a complete thickhead, he shall never cross my path again. Or else I shall expose him and Chadderton to the world. Let them both be hanged. This is the only justice that I can hope for now that my own bit of revenge did not work quite the way I expected it would. I dare say I was too much affected by the shocking turn of events to think properly of the consequences of my actions; and as I was struck by what I believed an excellent scheme, that would injure Montford exceedingly, I proceeded to act upon it with too much passion and too little sense not to suffer for my carelessness later. But though Edward Montford is too noble to expose me in turn – he does look the type to enjoy martyrdom – there is Chadderton who shall not hesitate to betray me again; and as I am not keen on the idea of public exposure and castigation I am bound to keep silence. But I swear on my life that I shall find other means by which to destroy the both of them. 

Lady Sophia – 

Well, all I can say is that he is no gentleman and when it comes to ladies a perfect savage. You can take my word for it for he treated my niece Mary very ill. He danced with her every dance, sat down with her, read to her, had long walks with her, let her draw his profile and after a passage of almost a week failed to propose to her! I have never in all my life met with such ill-treatment and to think that he is the son of Sir Charles, who is always so gallant and attentive! In fact, it was Sir Charles himself who asked me to think of a suitable wife for his younger son. He did warn me that Edward was extremely shy and taciturn and has not been out and about much. But I had expected him to inherit some of his father's ways with women.

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FIFTH REVIEW for ALMENDRA'S QUEST

A lovely review from a fellow writer (R.P. Lauer) on Goodreads:

Highland Court Chronicles: Almendra's Quest by Farida Mestek is a YA fantasy novel in a similar vein as say, Harry Potter. I wish I could give a better compassion title, but YA is not my strong suit; to be honest, when I think of YA, I tend to think of either teen romance, or dystopian future sagas, neither of which strike my fancy. So I have probably unfairly avoided the category altogether, leaving my knowledge rather lacking.

With this being my second YA ‘fantasy’ this year, I am seeing that there is a section of this classification that I absolutely need to explore, because just like The Wing Thief, this novel was a real pleasure to read! Farida does an excellent job of setting up a very rich world, with extended lore and extremely likable characters; the star of this tale being a true gem! Lady Almendra of the Upper Kingdom is sassy, sweet, compassionate, somewhat awkward, and ultimately a character I cannot help but want to root for.

I would classify this as a true fantasy adventure, with the bulk of the story being a journey from one point to another; though there may be a detour or two along the way. Lady Almendra has a companion in the form of a wolf, and she is also accompanied by a really solid, and equally likable messenger (of sorts). There are plenty of exciting moments, reveals and turns along the way.

My only criticisms are a few typos and other minor editing errors, and there is a slight anti-climatic nature to the story, but none of this disrupted my overall enjoyment in reading. There is clearly more that this author has to say in the universe she setup, and I hope with all of my heart that she continues on; I absolutely want to read more in the future!

There is a companion piece to this, Nermina's Amulet, which I did read and will also review. I read that first, but have since been told that it was intended as further reading, not pre-reading. Ooops.

Sins and Secrets - M/M Regency - EXCERPT

A single beam of late autumn sun, cold and sharp, speared the mullioned windows of an old church house, and lay like an enormous golden shard of broken glass on the stone floor, encasing Robert Hayward within its ethereal glow like a precious stone within its frame, his gilded silhouette serving as a kind of beacon for every wandering gaze and every stray thought of the small congregation therein. His broad shoulders and slim waist, perfectly accentuated by the cut of his dark greatcoat, were dwelt upon with eagerness and devoutness that neither the text of the sermon nor its important message on godliness and goodness seemed to merit.

The echoing stiffness of an old vaulted hall was constantly agitated by ringing warnings of terrible punishment and retribution that should befall all sinners least they promptly embark upon the path of redemption and righteousness, coming from the mouth of a rather bold and ill-favoured minister, accompanied by his constantly threatening fist. From time to time this was interrupted by the rustling of skirts or the creaking of pews as one or another young lady wished to get a better view of the divine vision in the first row, usually followed by a loud sigh of pure longing, which the oblivious minister, however, regarded as a promising sign of repentance.

Truly, there was hardly a young lady in the parish not in love with Robert Hayward. He was pronounced to be the most beautiful man to ever walk the earth. His green eyes and long eyelashes and lips shaped like a bow haunted many a dream, and even a smattering of freckles that generously sprinkled his fair complexion was universally admired despite general tendency of the public to the contrary. He wore dark, unassuming clothes, which made his beauty stand out even more, and carried a prayer book wherever he went; his air was melancholy and brooding and his past tragic, which they all found terribly romantic; not to mention gossip-worthy.

Robert Hayward was eleven when his father discovered that his wife was having an affair with a much younger man. Upon learning that she was with that man’s child, Mr Hayward threw her out of the house. But he loved her so very much, they said, that unable to bear her betrayal, he died soon afterwards of a broken heart. Robert was taken in by Mr and Mrs Wainright – his father’s closest friends – who became his guardians and provided him with a new home, promising to love and raise him as their own child, which happened around the same time their only son, Frederick, expressed an ardent wish to go abroad, where he proceeded to reside in the course of the last ten years.

Robert Hayward grew up to be an extremely devout young man. His ambition was to become a clergyman and to serve God and people in his charge to the best of his ability. His life’s mission was to atone for his mother’s sins by leading a life of piety, obedience and self-denial. It should be noted that he had been quite successful in his endeavor so far and that his zeal was constantly supported by the knowledge that he had inherited not only his mother’s fair looks but also her vicious nature and predisposition for the worst kind of sin.

COMING SOON!

Sins and Secrets - BOOK COVER REVEAL!

NEW BOOK - COMING SOON!

Guys, allow me to present my soon-to-be published M/M romance set against the backdrop of Regency England:

SINS & SECRETS

Robert Hayward is an extremely pious young man. He is determined to live a life of devotion, obedience, and self-denial, devoid of all passions and pleasures. His ambition is to become a clergyman. His mission in life is to atone for his mother’s sins.

His plans are irrevocably ruined when Frederick Wainright returns to England. He disrupts his well-established routine, disturbs his peace of mind, provokes sensations Robert has never allowed himself to feel before, and gradually seduces him into his bed.

Following his newly-awakened desires, Robert accompanies Frederick to London. However, he gets more than he bargained for when Frederick’s past affairs and a secret that he intends to keep from Robert at all costs threaten to tear them apart.

P.S.: Wait till you see the cover!!!

NERMINA'S AMULET - a short companion piece to ALMENDRA'S QUEST

Lady Nermina is the Founder of the Upper Kingdom. It would have been logcal to begin HIGHLAND COURT CHRONICLES with her story. However, I have always found Nermina's story too dark and too tragic and Nermina herself has always appeared too forbidden and unattainable to put into words. To tell you the truth, she kinda scares me and that's probably why I've never felt equal to writing an actual novel about her. But, perhaps, I might yet tackle her story through short stories.

My first attempt is NERMINA'S AMULET - a short companion piece to ALMENDRA'S QUEST.

Enjoy!

THIRD & FOURTH REVIEW for ALMENDRA'S QUEST

Review by Alice from Amazon:

Aimed at teenage girls but could be enjoyed by anyone who isn't a small child, as it gets quite dark in places. This is a fun book with interesting / likable characters. However it could really really do with an Editor, and the ending leaves a lot of loose threads and was quite unsatisfactory for me. Maybe there will be a sequel that will somewhat fix that but there isn't one currently, as far as I can see.

Review by M.H. Thaung from Goodreads:

This fantasy adventure was quite a fun, fast-paced read with a humorous touch. I noticed a couple of typos, but certainly nothing that caused a lot of distraction. The characters were distinctive and Almendra a sympathetic main character. The plot all made sense, although I felt it progressed in lumps rather than unfolding naturally. There was a bit of a tendency for other characters to tell Almendra large chunks of information, which turned whatever she'd believed so far on its head. This rather reduced opportunities to see Almendra herself in action, rather than having her simply learn about new plot developments. I also felt there was an overuse of Almendra's thoughts to explain her observations, and a certain repetitiveness slowing down the pace - though I can understand this being for the benefit of younger readers. A straightforward fantasy adventure that will probably appeal more to younger readers or those new to fantasy.